Weak as a lamb

I have been home for a few weeks now and have recovered enough to post this message.

I am as weak as a lamb after a shockingly bad episode in the hospital. I lost two weeks of my life to some sort of mental/drug related problem. I don’t remember much at all of those two weeks. What I do remember seems like a dream! After two weeks I slowly came out of this fog. Even then it took another two weeks just to be able to think half straight without me feeling like I was a half-wit. It is only now I am reasonably clear headed with some days worse than others. By the way, it took the doctors two days to work out that something was not right with me in terms of my drug induced madness. This period is also where my physical health went downhill as I never got out of bed or anything due to my madness!

As a result of the madness I never left my bed and as a result I have lost around 15-20 kg. I look like am starving to death I am so thin. I cannot stand or walk very well due to all the muscle wastage from being in hospital during my mad period. I would post a picture of myself but you may find it too distressing to see how bad I look. Very sad considering I used to be able run 42km a week or bench press 100kg at various stages in my life. Now I can barely stand up and walk :-(

Aside from all that I get periods of very bad stomach pain on most days for up to an hour. It is very frustrating to be sitting there feeling OK one minute and then in intense stomach related pain the next minute. Panadol helps but it takes at least 30 minutes to take effect and during this time I am cannot do anything due to the pain. I don’t like to take more than 4 panadol a day so I have to just wait for the pain and then take the panadol.

I have a bone marrow biopsy next week, hopefully the results are OK. I am a bit nervous as to what will turn up though. Should be OK – fingers crossed.

Oh well, at least I am still alive for the time being :-)

Home for a few days

Made it out!

I have been home for a few days now. I am starting to recover albeit very slowly. It will take a few weeks to recover my mental and physical health after all that time in hospital!

Should be out of here today 

Barring a last minute cockup I will be out of here today.  I cannot stand another night in this death chamber.

It is really hardwork being in hospital. They tell you uninterrupted sleep is important. In hospital you do not get that. The most you can hope for is 4 hours at night. You are woken up at 12 and 4am for various reasons. By morning you are exhausted.


I have been totally stuffed the last three days. Barely able to do anything. It felt like I was dying. Barely able to move. Could not think. I was in another world. Everything had a funny smell, complete and utter lethargy. Total confusion as to what was happening and what to do.

I felt like I was living in the 60’s too. 

As it turns out my blood sugar was off the charts. No wonder I didn’t know if I was in the 60’s or now. I felt like I was in the 60’s. 

They are now checking my blood sugar and monitoring it. 

This has been the most bizarre experience of my life. I cannot describe how I felt at the time. It was totally surreal. Even now I find the experience totally and utterly surreal. 


Finally, the endoscope laxative drug has my bowels working. One step closer to to getting out of here. 

Dropping the IV steroid

Doctors just popped around. Looks like it just severe constipation causing the pain. They haven’t looked at the xrays yet so it may still be a blockage or something down in my bowels but we will see later today what they say.

They are dropping the IV steroid and switching me to a lower dose of oral steroid. That is a good sign as it means I am one step closer to leaving.

Feeling better

Bloating etc has gone. Man that was painful. Started at midnight, my tummy bloated up and the pain was bad. I was in so much pain I started sweating and shaking. Slowly though it subsided after 4 hours. It is nearly lunch and I feel OK. Helps that I am totally whacked on Fentanyl :-) Man this stuff leaves you confused between reality and fantasy land!


No poops for a few days. The coloxyl is only giving me painful cramps rather than the desired turds.  Time for something stronger as I am starting to feel rather bloated. 

Felt tired and shit all day

Dad and Christopher visited today. Livened me up a bit. 

Afternoon though was a bit rough in a vague way. Took a 10mg endone and now I am feeling much better. Not sure what was wrong though. Oh well, whatever works to perk me up. At least it gave me an appetite. 

An old friend, Shorty, is popping in this evening. 


Had some solid food for the first time in a few weeks. Have been having sustagen and up&go until now. Hard eating when you haven’t got any saliva. 

Gotta do this so I can get out. 


I have had this for a few months now. A little bit annoying. Checked by the ophthalmologist and all OK. 


My long distance eye sight is really bad at the moment too. I can read really well close up but long distance as in 5m is shot. Further out it is shocking, people’s faces are a smudge a lot if the time. 

A reasonable nights sleep

First one for weeks. 

A bit jittery this morning though. Skin feels a bit dry and sore from this damn air conditioning.

Time for mid morning snack, newspaper and a quick snooze.